20 January 2011

Fountain-Falling Dumbass May Seek Legal Action

Cathy Cruz Marrero became an "unwilling" star when a video of her falling into a mall fountain while texting was posted to YouTube. The video has been viewed well over a million times, and Cathy is not pleased.

Marrero showed up on ABC's "Good Morning America" with her attorney to hint at a possible lawsuit. She cried, "Nobody went to my aid" after falling into the fountain. Yeah, folks. This is what America has come to. You get to sue a mall because you are a dumb ass. Ms. Cathy probably wouldn't have fallen into the fountain if she wasn't walking and texting at the same time. She also said she was embarrassed after the fall, and didn't want anyone to know it was her in the video. Well, going on national television to let the world know it was, indeed, you who fell, was a stellar idea. She even tried to get sympathy points for explaining the text message she was sending was to a fellow church member. Well, you have to ask yourself... what would Jesus do? He probably wouldn't be texting at all, but if The Lord did send a Holy text, he would probably stand still, or sit on one of those benches that malls have sitting next to the fountain, as to avoid a dangerous mishap. Or maybe the water would part, and Jesus would walk safely through to the other side, oblivious to the watery hazard he just avoided. But that's Jesus. Cathy Marrero ain't the Jesus.

No, Cathy Cruz Marrero isn't really a saint at all. She was charged in October of 2009 for allegedly using a coworker's credit card to rack up $5,000 worth of charges. Marrero may face up to six months of house arrest, and electronic monitoring. Damn, too bad she didn't fall in the fountain while wearing one of those electronic bracelets. Imagine how many hits THAT video would get.

Don't feel sorry for Cathy in the least. We don't. The way America works now, this stupid broad will end up with her own reality show within a year.


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