Straight Shootin' With Donnie Kendall

Donnie is the guy in charge here. In Straight Shootin', Donnie answers e-mails sent from YOU, the visitors. There's no gray area with Donnie. You will either love him or loathe him, but either way it will be entertaining.

What The Crap?!

Have you ever seen something so surreal, creepy, or just plain jacked-up that you have to whip out your iPhone to snap a photo of it? Well, here's a collection of insane photos that celebrate moments like that.

Game Room

Waste away countless hours playing FREE games in our Game Room! We have classic, family friendly games and even mature games for the older kids. Plus favorite picks from all of the Gimme Your Hand Freakz!

Fat Sack Of Crap Award: Katt Williams

Not just anyone can receive the prestigious Fat Sack Of Crap Award. You have to excel in the fine art of douche-baggery. You have to go above and beyond mortal prickdom. You have to throw common sense out the window, and stand tall and proud as one of the world's leading horses asses.

Faces Behind Beloved Characters

Gimme Your Hand's Kylee Wylde gives us a rare behind-the-scenes look at some of America's most iconic characters. Here you will find photos and info on the people who bring these beings to life.

13 August 2016

Random Ramblings: Presidential Buffoons, Stinky Flowers, And Sesame Street

With all of the nonsense in the world slapping you in the face like a pair of double-d sized knockers on a long-distance runner, it's easy for your mind to slip into auto pilot. Your thoughts take on a life of their own, and dance through your head for your own amusement. These strange thoughts can hold you hostage at the most inappropriate times. You forget that you're standing in line at a bank (sperm or otherwise), and allow these thoughts to put a creepy smile on your puss, make you giggle, or the worst of all, let out a little snort while you try NOT to make a scene. Donnie has these thoughts, too. Here are a few of his "Random Ramblings"...

If Hollywood loves anything, it's a crappy remake of a classic movie. And now, all the rage seems to be making crappy remakes with an all-chick cast. So Donnie has a pitch for you, Hollywood. After watching this broad allow herself to publicly climax over a balloon, this baby wrote itself.

Donald Trump looks like an ear of corn raped a sweet potato.

That yogurt that makes you crap must be some good stuff. Jamie Lee Curtis looks great.
Recently, folks all over the world flew off their collective nuts over a plant. That's right. A mother-fluffin' PLANT. People were glued to their mobile devices to watch a live stream of an Amorphophallus titanum (Corpse Flower) bloom for the first time in over a decade, and release an awful stench. Hey, if y'all idiots are interested in something that refuses to do anything for 10 years at a time and smells like a dead elephant sh!tting itself, Donnie has an ex you could stand around and gawk at.

So Sesame Workshop apparently gave the axe to three long-time cast members. Bob, Luis, and Gordon are reportedly history after over forty years of talking to fleece-wrapped fingers. Bob McGrath, Emilio Delgado and Roscoe Orman deserve better than to be victims of this "retooling". Who does Donnie blame for this new half-hour, bastardized version of the beloved children's program? HBO. Since this HBO deal, Sesame Street just isn't the same. What's next, HBO? Do you plan to screw Donnie's childhood up even more by rebooting your tired old franchises with "fresh meat"?! Screw you, HBO. Workshop, do the right thing and bring the boys back.

02 August 2016

Culture Club Is Back And The Freakz Rejoice

When Donnie was just a wee lad, his mom and dad got him a portable cassette player for his birthday. (Google it, kids.) And with that player, Donnie received his very first cassette tape - Culture Club's Colour By Numbers. Donnie took that tape player EVERYWHERE, playing that album on full blast, burning through batteries like the Golden Girls burned through cheesecakes. (Google it.) That album was the soundtrack to little Donnie's existence (and everyone else's within earshot).

We're going to McDonald's? "I'll grab Boy George." We're going to church? "I'll grab Boy George." George and the boys were even serenading young Donnie while he used shampoo to make his hair look like Alfalfa's in the bathtub. Donnie knew every song by heart and never seemed to tire of them. Surprisingly enough, his parents never complained about the sound of Culture Club echoing off the walls, both day and night. In fact, mom used to say "George has beautiful eyes!" Even dad said the band was "far out".

As Donnie grew, Culture Club was still a part of his life. Whenever their music was on the radio, Donnie cranked it up without shame or apology. He got with the times and bought their MP3s to listen on the go. Sadly, given the rocky history of the band members and the much-publicized drama, Donnie knew he would never fulfill his dream of seeing the world's greatest band in concert. (YEAH! DONNIE SAID IT! World's. Greatest. Band.) Or would he? If our story ended here, it would be quite tragic. Donnie never turns down a "happy ending". Luckily, he's got one for ya...

Fellow Gimme Your Hand Freak, Jay decided to surprise Donnie with an early birthday present, and handed him two tickets to... The Culture Club 2016 concert. THE Culture Club. In 2016. Not a crummy tribute band, not two original members with a couple of stand-ins, NO! Mikey Craig, Roy Hay, Jon Moss and Boy effin' George were all going to be there on stage and in the flesh. There's no way this could possibly live up to Donnie's life-long expectations, right? Wrong. It was incredible, guys.

About the only exposure Jay had to Culture Club's music was that scene from "The Wedding Singer" where Alexis Arquette kept singing, "Do You Really Want To Hurt Me". So, it was nice of Jay to make this little sacrifice and agree to be in attendance for this early birthday extravaganza. A new fan may have emerged in Jay, however, because the band was incredible performing the classics as well as a couple of covers, and even NEW music. Without giving away his age, Donnie has to say this concert was worth the decades-long wait. The band still sounds amazing, and in some instances, even better than you'd remember. Boy George was funny and sassy in between songs, and the group as a whole had great chemistry. If Culture Club's 2016 tour swings by your area, DO NOT miss it. Bring the kids, too. The music is safe for young ears. (Dress them up as little "80's Boy Georges" and get lots of videos to blackmail them with when they're old enough to start dating.)

Here's one of Culture Club's new songs to hold you over until you can see them in person. "More Than Silence" was performed during this concert. You'll love it live, too.

Just a couple of side notes: Donnie still has Colour By Numbers, the very first cassette tape he ever owned.
And Donnie's actual birthday is August 19th, so you still have time to get him something nice.

25 June 2015

Why Do I Give A Crap About Equality?

A Message From Donnie Kendall
Allow Donnie to "step outta character" for a moment, and give you a rare glimpse inside his heart and mind. The guard is down. Here we go...

Beginning at birth, I was exposed to all walks of life. Our family traveled all over the country, meeting new people along the way. I was never shielded from the diversity of the world. I watched as my parents laughed with, hugged, and genuinely loved people of all different races, religions, backgrounds, and sexual orientations. I never saw skin color or gender or disabilities, I saw human beings with whom to share life experiences.

Equality is important to me for several reasons, and one of those reasons is my Uncle Gary. He and his partner, Don, welcomed us into their home back in the 1980s while we were visiting California. Uncle Gary was a beautiful human being with a hilarious sense of humor, and an extremely kind and gentle heart. Even as a child, I knew Uncle Gary and Don loved each other dearly, but I also noticed people mocking them in public. I didn't understand why people would shout mean things to them, especially when they didn't know them. I didn't understand why Uncle Gary would move all the way to California when practically the whole family lived in Michigan. All he talked about was how much he missed the family and loved them. I asked, "why don't you and Uncle Don just come back to Michigan with us?" He smiled and hugged me as tears formed in his eyes, "Someday you may understand, Donnie."

I later found out most of the family disowned him. He moved away to have his own life, but ridicule followed him everywhere he went. He never hurt anyone. He just wanted to find happiness. So no, Uncle Gary. I will never understand how anyone could be made to feel so inferior for something they did not choose or ask for. Being gay isn't a choice. Being ignorant is.

Uncle Gary passed away years ago. I miss him. I love him. He never got to feel accepted by most of the family members who shunned him. He never had the chance to be recognized legally as a couple with his committed partner, and one of the only people in the world who showed him unconditional love. It's a shame. I would have loved to be a groomsman at their wedding. 

My parents and Uncle Don and Uncle Gary taught me a lot. They taught me to not just tolerate people, but accept them. I am blessed to have grown up in a home that taught, and more importantly DISPLAYED love, acceptance, and respect for everyone.

We're close, Uncle Gary. I really wish you were here to celebrate this grand awakening.

Top Right: Baby Donnie with Mom and Dad
Lower Left: Uncle Gary